Of Recent Things & Square Photography

There’s just a lot going on lately. The trip to Germany, overcoming the jet lag, planning the move and dealing with a difficult teething toddler who seemed to have the mood swings of a pms-ing lady. I really think I am getting older. The jet lag this time round is really difficult to shake off. Maybe it’s the mid year heat or the fact that I had a hard time keeping all my emotions to myself while I was in Germany. What happened? The answer is so obvious I simply refuse to address the question.

So I’m still very much unemployed and I’ve been waking up feeling like the opposite of a million bucks – one cent, if not absolutely worthless. The lethargy and exhaustion from the lack of sleep and rest, topped with having to sort out moving, and dealing with a stubborn toddler who completely freaks out if you broke his biscuit in two.

I’m surprised at our efficiency in finding a house. We’d only made a trip down last week and we’ve already made an appointment to sign the contract for October in a couple weeks. That’s one less worry on my worry list. Yay.

Though I must say that I am not too pleased with the fact that we’ve to pay the agent half month’s rent as commission. But I think I’m too tired to elaborate.

On a happier note, I have recently joined the instagram bandwagon. I must say that I am getting addicted to squarish photography. My account is filled with photos of my son and from there, one could clearly see that I’m trying hard to imitate the styles of those artsy-fartsy people who take fancy artistic shots.

Here’s a few of my favorites:

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I just love them square photos!

The Mooty

Felt like binging so badly. Grabbed a KitKat and a few pieces off a half-eaten hazelnut chocolate bar. It was just not enough. Need more. Must binge.

I quickly grabbed the blender, frozen bananas, strawberries, and blueberries from the fridge. Dumped them into the jug. Some ice cubes. Juice. Ran out of juice. Ugh. Quick, think! Ah, we have some oranges. Desperately squeezed the life out of the 2 navel oranges. My thumb is cramping as I type this on my BlackBerry. Done. In goes the juice.

Now, to blend. Warned The Son that it would be loud. He freaked out. Blitz, blitz, blitz. Along with silly sounds and funny dance as I pureed the fruits, juice and ice. Smoothie done. The Son repeated, “Mooty, mooty.”

Here he is, enjoying his mooty.

Sent by Maxis from my BlackBerry® smartphone

Finally, A Good Night’s Sleep!

And I thought I’d never live to see the day.

The Son has decided to sleep through the night (STTN) the last couple of days. He’s actually done that a few times already since February but he never fail to go back to his old ways of doing up at nights crying hysterically.

But it’s really great, to know that he is actually capable to sleep through the night and that also means that I get to have beautiful uninterrupted sleep. It’s been SO long! Though I find myself waking up every few hours, checking the time as he’s scheduled to wake up crying.

Today, I’m feeling like a million bucks! I’m so happy I feel like singing zip-a-dee-do-dah at the top of my lungs and proclaim to the world that The Son sleeps through the night!!! For now, the very least. I’m sure mothers would completely understand this feeling, especially those who still have younger babies. I guess having a routine also helps.

We tried many different ways to bring him to bed and his daily routine was fine-tuned many times and today, I think it’s pretty good. We’ve definitely come a long way from having to nurse him to sleep to The Son now very much able to fall asleep on his own without crying his lungs out. Well, he still does a little when I put him into his day bed for his nap.

Here’s his routine:
7.30am – 8.00am     Wake up
8.00am – 11.30am   Breakfast, shower and playtime
11.30am – 1.30pm   Nap
1.30pm – 6.00pm     Lunch, playtime and snack in between
6.00pm – 8.30pm     Dinner, evening walk and shower/bath
8.30pm                      Sleep

We pretty much stick to this schedule throughout the week and it does make him easier to manage as we would know when he’s tired. It wasn’t easy but I guess it does pay off at the end of the day. We still have to work on the bedtime routine, as The Son still needs The Husband to be there until he falls asleep in his cot. 

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But anyway, here’s a photo that brings peace to every mother’s mind.

🙂

My Attempt At Rainbow Cake

I’ve finally mustered up enough courage to attempt at this cake. Been wanting to bake it for the longest time ever, as I’ve done quite some research on it online.

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Armed with the recipe from Kerry Cooks and help from my dad to babysit The Boy, I managed to complete the cake in 6 hours whilst taking breaks in between. For an amateur baker like me, I reveled at the fact that it’s such an easy recipe to follow! Though simple process but it’s a lot of work. Simply because I’ve to bake 6 separate layers of cakes and I’ve got only 2 baking pans. Hmm… Not so smart, I know.

I’ve used 8″ round baking pans for the cake, lined with baking paper and also buttered and floured the sides so it wouldn’t stick. I’ve also reduced the amount of icing sugar for the frosting. I think I should have also reduced the sugar for the cake too.

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The rainbow cake, though glorious-looking at that height is more of a novelty cake. The cake had a strange texture as it was somewhat ‘powdery’. It kind of melted in my mouth. No, not like m&m’s kind of melt in your mouth but almost like a really soft butter cookie kind of melt in your mouth. Despite that, it is really pretty to look at.

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I couldn’t help but squeal and wiggle whilst punching my fists in the air victoriously to see the bright and cheerful colors layer upon layer of cake. It’s so pretty that just thinking about it is making me excited. So excited that I could pee in my pants. Okay, maybe that’s just because I have to go.

The Husband thinks it’s pretty good. So does my mom and sister. But my dad and I only thinks it’s alright. Oh well, mixed reviews on the recipe. Having said that, I do think it’s worth a try. The cake took me a pretty long time to make because I still had to change diapers and prepare dinner for The Boy. Ah well, that’s just the way it is.

My Burdened Heart

I woke up from a strange dream. I dreamt that my boyfriend was stolen by some other girl. I felt a little sad to see my boyfriend go but I did not stop him. It was strange, for I am not the type who would let go so easily. Especially not without a fight. But I let him go with her.

Along with disappointment after the whispered argument last night with The Husband, I feel somewhat low today. Confused, worried, saddened.

I am finding it hard to crack a smile today.

I feel like I could cry. But I can not.

I would like to run away. At least just for a day. Or two.

I think my dream meant something. Perhaps it was telling me that I should have let go many years ago. And that by letting go means giving everyone a new chance, including myself. I might have been better off. I may be a successful person by now. I could be happier. Yes, so many possibilities.

The past is already done but I can not help but wonder what if I had let go. I know that I should treasure the present but the future scares me. I dislike uncertainties and not knowing what to expect. I will just have to move on. I will move on, eventually. But for now, just let me dwell in my own misery.

The Rainwatchers

We love watching the rain. As soon we hear the sounds of thunder, The Boy and I would quickly park ourselves on the couch in front of the door to watch the sky turn gradually darker while little drops of rain turn into fat drops of water, splashing onto the road in front of our house. Pitter, patter, pitter, patter. Boom. Boom. Boom.

Just when I have been feeling absolutely sluggish and unproductive, worrying about the many uncertainties in my life, the rain came to remind me of the little things in my life that I have been taking for granted.

Yes, I am exhausted for I have not slept through the night for almost 18 months now. Yes, I am somewhat depressed to see that my body has expanded and is no longer the way it used to be. Yes, I am worried that I may not get a job as I am getting older. Yes, The Boy does get on my nerves when he refuses to eat or throws tantrums. And yes, I am a first time mother.

It has been a tiring journey, going through many ups and downs being a stay-at-home mom. I am a sleep-deprived mom-ster but when I give The Boy a kiss and hug every night, I would like to spend more time with him despite counting the hours in the day, waiting for The Husband to come home from work so I could have a toilet break or simply to have a breather.

So here we are, sitting together on the couch watching the rain and just enjoying each other’s company as the clouds roar in the background.

Sent by Maxis from my BlackBerry® smartphone

Fulltime Mimi

Being a mom is no easy feat, be it a working mom or a stay-at-home mom. Having only experienced being a fulltime mom while comparing myself with The Husband, who has a fulltime job, I still think that I have harder days and lesser sleep than he does. My work is never ending. There’s always laundry to be done, dishes to be washed but these everyday chores are not easy tasks when one also has to do multiple diaper changes, cooking for the whole family, ensuring the baby/toddler has his 2 main meals and 3 snacks and also well-hydrated, running after the baby/toddler, putting the child to nap, giving baths, entertain and teach the child and the list just goes on. And I haven’t even included other chores around the house or the sleepless nights, where the child would wake up multiple times crying, thus interrupting your sleep. The viscious cycle just goes on. And on. And on.

I find it physically and emotionally exhausting. It is tiring enough having to do all these but when the child acts up and suddenly goes on food strikes, refuses to bathe, throws tantrums and refuses to sleep, the day feels like a thousand years and you’re just trying to keep as calm as possible, which is really difficult as you’d literally feel like screaming and pulling your hairs out.

It hasn’t been easy. Yes, it may be ‘rewarding’ as a lot of other stay-at-home parents put it but it’s still hard. Being away at work gives you the chance to be alone. You get to have toilet breaks, which is something I find difficult to have with a clingy toddler. Don’t forget the luxurious one-hour lunch breaks, which I also get to have but it is also where I slip in my toilet break (for the entire day), prepare his and my meal, some minor chores and a quick breather. 

It may sound as if I’m whining about being a stay-at-home mom but I’m not. Or am I? I love teaching my toddler new things and it always put a smile on my face whenever he calls me ‘Mimiiii’ (Mimi is I’ve been teaching him to call me, instead of mommy). 

I think it’s about time the boy goes to daycare and socialize more. It’s also time for me to get out there to get some income so we could afford a better school for him in the future. It’s time I get out and have my own life. So I’ve been writing my CV. I’d have to say that I’m getting pretty excited about that. It’s almost complete but we’d have to relocate to a different state soon, which pretty much ruined my job hunt plans. We don’t know for sure when the move would be so the job would have to wait. I’m getting nervous as I’m kind of running out of time, considering that I haven’t had a proper job since the one at the radio station about 7/8 years ago. And the fact that I’m 30. I’m just hoping that I’d actually get a job despite my horrible CV with barely any work experience. 

And I’m also hoping that if and when I do get a job, The Boy would actually sleep through the night and give me uninterrupted sleep.